Legends of Tomorrow Season 1, Episode 2 “Pilot, Part 2” (significant spoilers)
Bechdel-Wallace Score: 1/3 – Two series regulars are women, but they were the only women in the episode with names and they never had a scene together.
Shukla Score: 1/3 – Two series regulars are non-white actors, but they played the only two non-white characters with names in the whole episode, and to say they had a scene together would be to miss the point of the Shukla test, me thinks (technically they are shown walking together for a moment, but come on).
Russo Score: 1/3 – Really, this episode doesn’t pass this test at all since the bisexual character is not identified as such during the hour. Still, she is there, by the same token that she isn’t identified she is also not caricatured, and she kicks a lot of ass and provides other persuasion that the episode would be missing if she were gone. So I awarded two half-points, or one point.
Kittens: 😺😺😹😻/5 – Four out of five kittehs, because there was enough Hawkman awfulness to push me away a few times and thus lose the coveted five kitteh rating. Sara Lance knocked a dude out with a bong, that’s the crying-laughing kitteh, and then a character I dislike died, that’s the heart-eyed kitteh.
Low points: I don’t think a woman Hawkgirl’s age would have so much trouble making decisions in real life anyway, and I definitely don’t think a 4,000 year old goddess would be this bumfuzzled all the time. What I’m saying is that I’m tired of her damsel in existential distress routine, dear writers please fix this. I know, it’s the pilot, but this was her characterization on The Flash and Arrow crossover episodes leading up to the Legends premiere, so it has had time to get tired already.
Undecided: Snart/Cold and Palmer/Atom are apparently going to be the odd-couple of the show. This could be interesting and it could also be tedious. So far it has been some of both. I am holding out hope it will turn into positive masculine intimacy on TV, which these folks have managed to do pretty well on Arrow and very well on The Flash.
Highlights: (Spoilers) The opening sequence that finishes with Firestorm juicing a rogue nuclear bomb, was totally awesome. The Sara, Jax, and Martin smoke a dooby and talk physics sequence was also delightful. And last, but certainly not least, my personal favorite moment was when Carter You-Must-Love-Me, Do-You-Love-Me-Yet? Hall, aka Hawkman, aka “no means keep asking over and over and over again”, aka Winged God of Asshats, got killed after being pushy, then hasty, and finally just stupid. Bravo, show-runners, bravo! You will please replace him with Vixen as soon as possible. Thank you!
Dad edits: We skipped some of the Hawkgirl, Hawkman, Savage fight because (a) it is a bit harsh, (b) I didn’t want my kid to suffer the disappointment of watching Hawkgirl – who we know and love from her being a badass on Justice League cartoons – basically totally lose her shit in the middle of a knife fight, and (c) I don’t want my son to see me get so happy when Hawkman gets his dumbass killed.
Legends of Tomorrow airs on The CW on Thursdays at 8/7c